“The Rarest Ruby”

Oil colour pencil and Cadmium Scarlet on Arches paper. Copyright c. 2013

Oil colour pencil and Cadmium Scarlet on Arches paper. Copyright c. 2013

I once met a man and his name meant, “Light.” He was a striking tall glass of water with Auburn hair and gentle hands. I did not plan on meeting this person, I just bumped into him one night while I was out alone on my way home. When I was around him I felt so HAPPY. It was a strange, wonderful feeling that made me nervous and made me go crazy. I could not speak right around him and I couldn’t stop feeling so giddy and anxious. Just to be in the same room with this man I felt like I was on 15 levels. No drug or alcohol could reproduce the feeling I felt for him, I fell deeply in love. I did not know how to handle what was happening to me and what I was feeling because I NEVER felt like this before. It was not sex that turned me on to him, it was this strange and wonderful vibe that came from him. It made me so high I thought I would lose my mind completely! I now believe In auras because of this beautiful creature and the way he made me feel. But when he did touch me, It made everything I already felt so much more magnified. I knew If I told anybody how I was feeling they would just say I am crazy or that I am making it up. So I used my artwork as a way to communicate my frustration and my feelings while trying to forget about him. But I could not forget about him, I would see him in my dreams and my body would hurt, missing him and his touch. He was so sweet and kind and such a real gentleman, perfect, to me. He is gone now, I am too much of a strange stranger for him. And just my luck, I was born in the wrong body too. I could never be the beautiful asian woman that he really desires.
While he would have a little fun with me, I would never be the woman he calls his wife or partner. It has been a long time, and STILL I want him and need him, and he is stuck in my head and my heart. I mourn for that natural surprise feeling of bliss and passion that I felt with him. I ask god and the spirits everyday to heal me and help me to stay strong through my hurt heart. I learned from my crazy and strange experience with my emotions that true love cannot be forced or created even with love magic. Any man can put himself inside you and tell you lies, touch you and then leave you, but LOVE and the real thing, is RARE. And true love, the experience, the feeling, that no drug or drink can even bring you to, is rarer than the rarest Ruby!

About ErzulieRedEyesArtandSpirit

I love art, I enjoy oil painting and drawing anything I wish. Vodou is my faith and I enjoy creating artistic images of the lwa and spiritual subjects. I also paint and draw other subjects when I'm inspired! When i'm not painting and drawing I enjoy dancing, and spending time with my family. My favorite medium is Oil but I also love to work with graphite pencil, pastels, pen and ink.
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17 Responses to “The Rarest Ruby”

  1. lissnup says:

    I like to think perhaps he was a mirror, and that one day, you will see in yourself what he was showing you…

  2. Emma Lewis says:

    That is amazing, but not surprising. I wrote about someone like that recently. They just draw you in to themselves, and there is nothing you can do…

  3. I am trying to heal from it, its rough though.

  4. I wish you get to meet him again… cant really say if i liked the work more or the writing that accompanies it…beautiful as usual!!

  5. cheshirecatman says:

    I love your portrait. I do wonder about a man who has such a strong physical preference for a specific look, however. If one limits oneself to a certain physical type, one may foolishly overlook the right spirit. The body is just a temporary shell.

    • That was the big disappointment about this man, I found out he has a fetish for asian women. And he said that black women’s vaginas are too big. He believes the size of a woman’s vagina is determined by race and color label. After being so sweet and kind to me he just turned sour towards me. Most women tagged with the label “black” are hated, used and abused no matter what you do, so I am used to it. But I was very disappointed in this man because I thought he might be different and actually like or love me for me. I’ve been mistreated because of my looks physically so now I spend more time loving and taking good care of myself spiritually. I know my physical body goes back to ashes in the end so I try to work on preserving what is best inside of me.

  6. Hi Cheshire. I don’t know why people are nice one moment and then sour the next. Always something.

  7. Deb says:

    Lovely artwork! And great story! 🙂

  8. Gen says:

    I too am in love with a man who I fell instantly in love with like that. He too turned sour toward me, but since I have learned it is his fear of commitment.
    It isn’t your fault. I think he may love you very much but be unable to face it. Maybe he will grow up and out of his fetish for Asian women. It sounds like he holds a childish fantasy in his mind, that he will grow out of with experience. One could hope!
    I think it is downright mean of him to say black women have large vaginas. I doubt you complained about white men and their equipment being too small. Perhaps spirit will lead him to an Asian lady with a huge vagina just to prove a point.
    I hope you get what you want, I really do. Because he is acting a fool not to see how valuable you are. Your love is real and if he grows up he will surely realize and appreciate that.

    • That’s a funny thought! Maybe he’ll see the body parts stuff is just stereotypes and nothing else! It felt weird to hear someone say that but its true many people believe genital size is determined by race. LOL But it shows you how untrue it is, because the belief is, Asian women have smaller genitalia because they are short and petite. Well there are short and petite women that come in different colours and faces, so how can it only be Asians? It is a strange objectifying belief, because there are a lot of short petite women all over the world. Its just something that makes someone feel better about themselves or other people’s bodies that they favor. That would be a real trip out if he came back to me!! I would be so happy all the time people would think I’m drugs!! LOL

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