Abortion is a mature and touchy subject for many people, even some grown adults can’t stomach it. But its a reality and decision many women make everyday. After years of thinking I couldn’t have children and never being pregnant my entire adult life, I get a bun in the oven myself! I was so afraid and anxious when I found out! My husband and I never wanted kids and I knew I had to send the baby back. It was a tough process, taking the meds and beginning to bleed out the fetus. I had never had an abortion before so going through this was scary and made me nervous. It made me sad to see the image of the tiny figure on the ultrasound screen but I knew I could not keep the baby. I certainly didn’t want to birth the baby and then pass the baby off to strangers like a used car. Adoption was not an option for me, and I did not want to put the baby through that. It was last Friday the Dr. told me I was 6 weeks pregnant and I am still in shock from it. I am happy to get back to being myself again and restoring my energy so I can work and do my art. I have been weak and feeling sick I couldn’t get any energy to paint or draw. Now that I have completed my medication and the fetus is gone I feel a little like myself again. I’m dreaming up a painting for Clermeil and Ogoun Red Eyes which I’d like to get finished. I am sure to be more careful with myself this time and to never harm myself like this ever again. Dantor inspired my blog title but I’m not strong enough to be a mother like she is! I hope that the little soul that was in my body has gone back home to God and hope that they forgive me. I’m moving on now and I must forgive myself and know that I made the right choice for us all.