“Innocent Blood II”

 

Permanent Alizarin Crimson Oil Colour and Graphite Pencil. Copyright c.2012

Wet Oil Colour (Alizarin Crimson) and Graphite pencil on Heavy Mixed Media paper. Copyright c. 2012

    Abortion is a mature and touchy subject for many people, even some grown adults can’t stomach it. But its a reality and decision many women make everyday. After years of thinking I couldn’t have children and never being pregnant my entire adult life, I get a bun in the oven myself! I was so afraid and anxious when I found out! My husband and I never wanted kids and I knew I had to send the baby back. It was a tough process, taking the meds and beginning to bleed out the fetus. I had never had an abortion before so going through this was scary and made me nervous. It made me sad to see the image of the tiny figure on the ultrasound screen but I knew I could not keep the baby. I certainly didn’t want to birth the baby and then pass the baby off to strangers like a used car. Adoption was not an option for me, and I did not want to put the baby through that. It was last Friday the Dr. told me I was 6 weeks pregnant and I am still in shock from it. I am happy to get back to being myself again and restoring my energy so I can work and do my art. I have been weak and feeling sick I couldn’t get any energy to paint or draw. Now that I have completed my medication and the fetus is gone I feel a little like myself again. I’m dreaming up a painting for Clermeil and Ogoun Red Eyes which I’d like to get finished.      I am sure to be more careful with myself this time and to never harm myself like this ever again. Dantor inspired my blog title but I’m not strong enough to be a mother like she is!   I hope that the little soul that was in my body has gone back home to God and hope that they forgive me. I’m moving on now and I must forgive myself and know that I made the right choice for us all.

 

 

About ErzulieRedEyesArtandSpirit

I love art, I enjoy oil painting and drawing anything I wish. Vodou is my faith and I enjoy creating artistic images of the lwa and spiritual subjects. I also paint and draw other subjects when I'm inspired! When i'm not painting and drawing I enjoy dancing, and spending time with my family. My favorite medium is Oil but I also love to work with graphite pencil, pastels, pen and ink.
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26 Responses to “Innocent Blood II”

  1. Aubs Tea says:

    I support you and your decision.

  2. Madame Nadia says:

    Much hugs and love your way, dear one!

  3. motormouthblogger says:

    Are you a real artist???

  4. motormouthblogger says:

    Good point!

  5. frenchfry36 says:

    It’s very brave and honest of you to share this difficult experience. Some situations just can’t have a happy ending. But creativity is healing. I hope you will always feel you made the right choice.

    • Hi thank you. I am glad abortion is still legal here in the usa and that women have the right to make choices over their unborn fetus/child. I’m happy now because I’m not stuck getting fat and taking care of a baby that I can’t afford and don’t want. I also think this world is too negative and evil to bring innocent babies into. Motherhood is not for me.

  6. WOW.

    Ive never really looked around at other wordpress blogs until today. After reading ‘The question “Why?” ‘ on a blog called hotmilkforbreakfast among all the people who liked the post these beautiful red eyes were looking at me, and I knew Erzulie je wouj so I clicked…

    After reading the first post I was sure the Spirit sent me.

    I want to tell you that you are a beautiful woman. You are a strong woman. And you have a great Spirit walking with you.

    Losing a baby can be mentally and physically hard (draining actually), by personal choice or by nature’s choice doesn’t make a difference. Nature made me drop mine three times and it sucks to put it lightly. I wish your mind and body harmony and healing during this time, you are in my prayers.

    You are a wonderful artist from what I see and I look forward to viewing more photos and reading more stories. Thank you so much for sharing. Art is a wonderful healer and so is nature, don’t you agree? (:

    You have another avid subscriber now.

    lwa voye m, m pa t poze kesyon, m vin pou wè sa yo vle montre m
    mèsi sè m, mèsi anpil, m salud w
    namaste
    ~Molly MacKenzie

    • Hello thank you for visiting and your kind words. It feels odd now that the soul that was in my stomach is gone but I did not want to bring a baby into this world to suffer. I couldn’t do it, Its a cold world with poverty, racism, negativity, too much for innocent babies. Yes I agree art is a healer and a light, it keeps me going! Thank you!

  7. this is a cold world at times. poverty, racism and negativity can seem like they fill this planet. but, there is beauty too. there is often spiritual wealth among the financially poor, freedom of mind among the oppressed- just as there is often spiritual poverty among the financially rich, and people living in their own prisons as they oppress others.

    that is where we come in as artists… to create the pain and joy in our work for those with eyes to see.

    after you’ve mourned hold your head up and shine your light

    yin and yang

    ~molly

    • That’s true, I just believe from experience that the world is mostly a negative place and I was afraid to bring a baby into this world to suffer to.
      I see so many women having kids and then being left alone with no love or true family unit. I never wanted to end up like that myself, just one of my personal fears. Art is my light, I don’t find happiness or life in money, to me money is like slavery and death. You chase papers and there is nothing else, people lose their souls over that, its sad. I hope the spirit world is not as bad as this world!

  8. beebeesworld says:

    Thanks for reading my blog, I hope you will follow me. I will follow your blog as well and look forward to reading more. beebeesworld

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